ill be employed i n holding up for the astonishment of sucomeeding ages。 let me see — fortysix g reat men in half a year； amounts to just ninetytwo in a year。 — i wonder how posterity will be able to remember them all； or whether the people； in future ti mes； will have any other business to mind； but that of getting the catalogue by heart。
does the mayor of a corporation make a speech。 he is instantly set down for a great man。 does a pedant digest his common place book into a folio。 he quickly becomes great： does a poet siring up trite sentiments in rhyme。 he also becomes the great man of the hour。 how diminutive soever the object of adminition， eac h is followed by a erowd of still more diminutive adminers。 the shout begins in his train； onward he marches towards immortality； looks back at the pursuing cro wd with selfsatisfaction； catching all the oddities； the whimsies； the absurdi ties； and the littlenesses of conscious greatness； by the way。
i was yesterday invited by a gentleman to dinner；who promised that our ente rtainment should consist of an haunch of venison； a turtle； and a great man。 i c ame； acomording to appointment。 the venison was fine； the turtle good； but the gr eat man insupportable。 the moment i ventured to speak； i was at once contradicte d with a snap。 i attempted； by a second and a third assault； to retrieve my lost reputation； but was still beat back with confusion。 i was resolved to attack hi m once more from entrenchment； and turned the conversation upon the government o f china： but even here he asserted； snapped； and contradicted as before。 heavens ； thought i； this man pretends to know china even better than myself！ i looked r ound to see who was on my side； but every eye was fixed in admiration on the gre at man； i therefore； at last thought proper to sit silent； and act the pretty ge ntleman during the ensuing conversation。
when a man has once secured a circle of admirers； he may be as ridiculous he re as he thinks proper； and it all passes for elevation of sentiment； or learned absence。 if he transgresses the common forms of breeding； mistakes even a teapo t for a tobacomobox； it is said； that his thoughts are fixed on more important objects：to speak and act like the rest of mankind is to be no greater than they 。 there is something of oddity in the very idea of greatness； for we are seldom astonished at a thing very much resembling ourselves。
when the tartars make a lama； their first care is to place him in a dark cor ner of the temple； here he is to sit half concealed from view； to regulate the m otion of his hands； lips； and eyes； but； above ail； he is enjoined gravity and s ilence。 this； however； is but the prelude to his apotheosis： a set of emissaries are dispatched among the people to cry up his piety； gravity； and love of raw f lesh； the people take them at their word； approach the lama； now become an idol； with the most humble prostration： he receives their addresses without motion； c ommences a god； and is ever after fed by his priests with the spoon of immortali ty。 the same receipt in this country serves to make a great man。 the idol only k eeps close； sends out his little emissaries to be hearty in his praise； and stra ight； whether statesman or author； he is set down in the list of fame； continuin g to be praised while it is fashionable to praise； or while he prudently keeps h is minuteness； concealed from the public。
i have visited many countries； and have been in cities without number； yet n ever did i enter a town which could not produce ten or twelve of those little gr eat men； all fancying themselves known to the rest of the world； and complimenti ng each other upon their extensive reputation。 it is amusing enough when two of those domestic prodigies of learning mount the stage of ceremony； and give and t ake praise from each other。 i have been present when a german doctor； for having pronounced a panegyric upon a certain monk； was thought the most ingenious man in the world； till the monk soon after divided this reputation by returning the compliment； by which means they both marched off with universal applause。
the same degree of underserved adulation that attends our great man while li ving； often also follows him to tomb。 it frequently happens that one of his litt le admirers sits down big with the important subject； and is delivered of the hi story of his life and writings。 this may properly be called the revolutions of a life between the fireside and the easychair。 in this we learn； the year in wh ich he was born； at what an early age he gave symptoms of uncommon genius and ap plication； together with some of his smart sayings； collected by his aunt and mo ther； while yet but a boy。 the next book introduces him to the university； where we are informed of his amazing progress in learning； his excellent skill in dar ning stockings； and his new invention for papering books to save the covers。 he next makes his appearance in the republic of letters； and publishes his folio1。 now the colossus is reared； his works are eagerly bought up by all the purchaser s of scarce books。 the learned societies invite him to become a member； he dispu tes against some foreigner with a long latin name； conquers in the controversy； is complimented by several authors of gravity and importance； is excessively fon d of eggsauce with his pig； becomes president of a literary club； and dies in the meridian of his glory。 happy they； who thus have some little faithful attend ant； who never forsakes them； but prepares to wrangle and to praise against ever y opposer； at once ready to increase their pride while living； and their charact er when dead。 for you and i； my friend； who have no humble admirer thus to atten d us； we； who neither are； nor ever will be great men； and who do not much care whether we are great men or no； at least let us strive to be honest men； and to have common sense。爱之絮语
佚名
设想男人是从火星上来的，女人是从金星上来的。很久以前的一天，火星人用望远镜张 望远方时，发现了金星人，这匆匆一瞥把火星人心中沉睡的感情唤醒了。他们对这种感情从 未知晓。坠入爱河的火星人很快发明了太空旅行，飞往金星。金星上的女人们张开双臂迎接 他们的到来。火星男人与金星女人之间的爱情真是奇妙。他们愉快地共同生活，一起工作， 同甘共苦，他们都忘了彼此是来自不同的星球，忘了本应具有的差异。一天早晨，火星人和 金星人完全忘却了彼此的不同。也就是从那天起，冲突开始在男人与女人之间发生。
女人抱怨男人最多的地方是男人不会倾听。当女人说话时，男人不是完全不理睬，就是 稍听片刻，掂量一下困扰女人的问题，然后自傲地抛给女人一个解决的办法以安慰她就算完 事。无论女人抱怨了多少次，说他没有倾听，他就是不懂，依然故伎重演。女人需要同情， 可男人以为她需要的是解决办法。
男人最常抱怨女人总试图改造自己。女人爱上男人时，便觉得帮助他成长是自己的责任 ，并尽力想帮助男人改进做事的方式。女人成立了家庭促进会，而男人就是首要目标。无论 男人怎样拒绝她的帮助，女人都一再坚持，伺机帮助他或是告诉他该做什么。女人认为自己 是在调教男人，而男人却觉得自己被控制了。男人崇尚权力、个人能力和成功。他们本是以 取得成功的能力作为给自己的定义。对他们而言，实现目标举足轻重，因为这能证明他们自 身的能力，会让他们有良好的感觉。而男人要想自我感觉不错，就必须独立自主地取得种种 成功。
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