little dorrit-信丽(英文版)- 第236部分

'Witnesses　of　what？'　said　Clennam。

'Of　Miss　Dorrit's　love。'

'For　whom？'

'You；'　said　John。　And　touched　him　with　the　back　of　his　hand　upon　the
breast；　and　backed　to　his　chair；　and　sat　down　on　it　with　a　pale　face；
holding　the　arms；　and　shaking　his　head　at　him。

If　he　had　dealt　Clennam　a　heavy　blow；　instead　of　laying　that　light　touch
upon　him；　its　effect　could　not　have　been　to　shake　him　more。　He　stood
amazed；　his　eyes　looking　at　John；　his　lips　parted；　and　seeming　now　and
then　to　form　the　word　'Me！'　without　uttering　it；　his　hands　dropped　at
his　sides；　his　whole　appearance　that　of　a　man　who　has　been　awakened　from
sleep；　and　stupefied　by　intelligence　beyond　his　full　prehension。

'Me！'　he　at　length　said　aloud。

'Ah！'　groaned　Young　John。　'You！'

He　did　what　he　could　to　muster　a　smile；　and　returned；　'Your　fancy。　You
are　pletely　mistaken。'

'I　mistaken；　sir！'　said　Young　John。　'_I_　pletely　mistaken　on　that
subject！　No；　Mr　Clennam；　don't　tell　me　so。　On　any　other；　if　you　like；
for　I　don't　set　up　to　be　a　perating　character；　and　am　well　aware　of
my　own　deficiencies。　But；　_I_　mistaken　on　a　point　that　has　caused　me
more　smart　in　my　breast　than　a　flight　of　savages'　arrows　could　have
done！　_I_　mistaken　on　a　point　that　almost　sent　me　into　my　grave；　as
I　sometimes　wished　it　would；　if　the　grave　could　only　have　been　made
patible　with　the　tobacco…business　and　father　and　mother's　feelings！　I
mistaken　on　a　point　that；　even　at　the　present　moment；　makes　me　take　out
my　pocket…handkercher　like　a　great　girl；　as　people　say：　though　I　am　sure
I　don't　know　why　a　great　girl　should　be　a　term　of　reproach；　for　every
rightly　constituted　male　mind　loves　'em　great　and　small。　Don't　tell　me
so；　don't　tell　me　so！'

Still　highly　respectable　at　bottom；　though　absurd　enough　upon　the
surface；　Young　John　took　out　his　pocket…handkerchief　with　a　genuine
absence　both　of　display　and　concealment；　which　is　only　to　be　seen　in
a　man　with　a　great　deal　of　good　in　him；　when　he　takes　out　his
pocket…handkerchief　for　the　purpose　of　wiping　his　eyes。　Having　dried
them；　and　indulged　in　the　harmless　luxury　of　a　sob　and　a　sniff；　he　put
it　up　again。

The　touch　was　still　in　its　influence　so　like　a　blow　that　Arthur　could
not　get　many　words　together　to　close　the　subject　with。　He　assured　John
Chivery　when　he　had　returned　his　handkerchief　to　his　pocket；　that　he
did　all　honour　to　his　disinterestedness　and　to　the　fidelity　of　his
remembrance　of　Miss　Dorrit。　As　to　the　impression　on　his　mind；　of　which
he　had　just　relieved　it……here　John　interposed；　and　said；　'No　impression！
Certainty！'……as　to　that；　they　might　perhaps　speak　of　it　at　another　time；
but　would　say　no　more　now。　Feeling　low…spirited　and　weary；　he　would　go
back　to　his　room；　with　john's　leave；　and　e　out　no　more　that　night。
John　assented；　and　he　crept　back　in　the　shadow　of　the　wall　to　his　own
lodging。

The　feeling　of　the　blow　was　still　so　strong　upon　him　that；　when　the
dirty　old　woman　was　gone　whom　he　found　sitting　on　the　stairs　outside
his　door；　waiting　to　make　his　bed；　and　who　gave　him　to　understand　while
doing　it；　that　she　had　received　her　instructions　from　Mr　Chivery；　'not
the　old　'un　but　the　young　'un；'　he　sat　down　in　the　faded　arm…chair；
pressing　his　head　between　his　hands；　as　if　he　had　been　stunned。　Little
Dorrit　love　him！　More　bewildering　to　him　than　his　misery；　far。

Consider　the　improbability。　He　had　been　accustomed　to　call　her　his
child；　and　his　dear　child；　and　to　invite　her　confidence　by　dwelling　upon
the　difference　in　their　respective　ages；　and　to　speak　of　himself　as　one
who　was　turning　old。　Yet　she　might　not　have　thought　him　old。　Something
reminded　him　that　he　had　not　thought　himself　so；　until　the　roses　had
floated　away　upon　the　river。

He　had　her　two　letters　among　other　papers　in　his　box；　and　he　took　them
out　and　read　them。　There　seemed　to　be　a　sound　in　them　like　the　sound
of　her　sweet　voice。　It　fell　upon　his　ear　with　many　tones　of　tenderness；
that　were　not　insusceptible　of　the　new　meaning。　Now　it　was　that　the
quiet　desolation　of　her　answer；'No；　No；　No；'　made　to　him　that　night
in　that　very　room……that　night　when　he　had　been　shown　the　dawn　of　her
altered　fortune；　and　when　other　words　had　passed　between　them　which　he
had　been　destined　to　remember　in　humiliation　and　a　prisoner；　rushed　into
his　mind。

Consider　the　improbability。

But　it　had　a　preponderating　tendency；　when　considered；　to　bee
fainter。　There　was　another　and　a　curious　inquiry　of　his　own　heart's　that
concurrently　became　stronger。　In　the　reluctance　he　had　felt　to　believe
that　she　loved　any　one；　in　his　desire　to　set　that　question　at　rest；　in
a　half…formed　consciousness　he　had　had　that　there　would　be　a　kind　of
nobleness　in　his　helping　her　love　for　any　one；　was　there　no　suppressed
something　on　his　own　side　that　he　had　hushed　as　it　arose？　Had　he　ever
whispered　to　himself　that　he　must　not　think　of　such　a　thing　as　her
loving　him；　that　he　must　not　take　advantage　of　her　gratitude；　that　he
must　keep　his　experience　in　remembrance　as　a　warning　and　reproof；
that　he　must　regard　such　youthful　hopes　as　having　passed　away；　as　his
friend's　dead　daughter　had　passed　away；　that　he　must　be　steady　in　saying
to　himself　that　the　time　had　gone　by　him；　and　he　was　too　saddened　and
old？

He　had　kissed　her　when　he　raised　her　from　the　ground　on　the　day　when　she
had　been　so　consistently　and　expressively　forgotten。　Quite　as　he　might
have　kissed　her；　if　she　had　been　conscious？　No　difference？

The　darkness　found　him　occupied　with　these　thoughts。　The　darkness　also
found　Mr　and　Mrs　Plornish　knocking　at　his　door。　They　brought　with　them　a
basket；　filled　with　choice　selections　from　that　stock　in　trade　which　met
with　such　a　quick　sale　and　produced　such　a　slow　return。　Mrs　Plornish　was
affected　to　tears。　Mr　Plornish　amiably　growled；　in　his　philosophical　but
not　lucid　manner；　that　there　was　ups　you　see；　and　there　was　downs。　It
was　in　vain　to　ask　why　ups；　why　downs；　there　they　was；　you　know。　He　had
heerd　it　given　for　a　truth　that　accordin'　as　the　world　went　round；　which
round　it　did　rewolve　undoubted；　even　the　best　of　gentlemen　must　take　his
turn　of　standing　with　his　ed　upside　down　and　all　his　air　a　flying
the　wrong　way　into　what　you　might　call　Space。　Wery　well　then。　What
Mr　Plornish　said　was；　wery　well　then。　That　gentleman's　ed　would　e
up…ards　when　his　turn　e；　that　gentleman's　air　would　be　a　pleasure　to
look　upon　being　all　smooth　again；　and　wery　well　then！

It　has　been　already　stated　that　Mrs　Plornish；　not　being　philosophical；
wept。　It　further　happened　that　Mrs　Plornish；　not　being　philosophical；
was　intelligible。　It　may　have　arisen　out　of　her　softened　state　of　mind；
out　of　her　sex's　wit；　out　of　a　woman's　quick　association　of　ideas；
or　out　of　a　woman's　no　association　of　ideas；　but　it　further　happened
somehow　that　Mrs　Plornish's　intelligibility　displayed　itself　upon　the
very　subject　of　Arthur's　meditations。

'The　way　father　has　been　talking　about　you；　Mr　Clennam；'　said　Mrs
Plornish；　'you　hardly　would　believe。　It's　made　him　quite　poorly。　As
to　his　voice；　this　misfortune　has　took　it　away。　You　know　what　a　sweet
singer　father　is；　but　he　couldn't　get　a　note　out　for　the　children　at
tea；　if　you'll　cre