to things about which there is some thing to be done。 this is not always easy； one's own past is a gradually increas ing weight。 it is easy to think to oneself that one's emotions used to be more v ivid than they are； and one's mind more keen。 if this is true it should be forgo tten； and if it is forgotten it will probably not be true。
the other thing to be avoided is clinging to youth in the hope of sucking vi gour from its vitality。 when your children are grown up they want to live their own lives； and if you continue to be as interested in them as you were when they were young； you are likely to become a burden to them； unless they are unusuall y callous — i do not mean that one should be without interest in them； but one' s interest should be contemplative and； if possible； philanthropic； but not undu ly emotional。animals become indifferent to their young as soon as their young ca n look after themselves； but human beings； owing to the length of infancy； find this difficult。
i think that a sucomessful old age is easiest for those who have strong imper sonal interests involving appropriate activities。 it is in this sphere that long experience is really fruitful； and it is in this sphere that the wisdom born of experience can be exercised without being oppressive。 it is no use telling grow nup children not to make mistakes； both because they will not believe you； and b ecause mistakes are an essential part of education。 but if you are one of those who are incapable of impersonal interests； you may find that your life will be e mpty unless you concern yourself with your children and grandchildren。 in that c ase you must realize that while you can still render them material services； suc h as making them an allowance or knitting them jumpers； you must not expect that they will enjoy your company。
some old people are oppressed by the fear of death。 in the young there is a justification for this feeling。 young men who have reason to fear that they will be killed in battle may justifiably feel bitter in the thought that they have b een cheated of the best things that life has to offer。 but in an old man who has known human joys and sorrows； and has achieved whatever work it was in him to d o； the fear of death is somewhat abject and ignoble。
the best way to overcome it — so at least it seems to me — is to make your interests gradually wider and more impersonal； until bit by bit the walls of th e ego recede； and your life becomes increasingly merged in the universal life。 a n individual human existence should be like a river — small at first； narrowly contained within its banks； and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfa lls。 gradually the river grows wider； the banks recede； the waters flow more qui etly； and in the end； without any visible break； they become merged in the sea； and painlessly lose their individual being。 the man who； in old age； can see his life in this way； will not suffer from the fear of death； since the things he c ares for will continue。 and if； with the decay of vitality； weariness increases； the thought of rest will not be unwelcome。 i should wish to die while still at work； knowing that others will carry on what i can no longer do and content in t he thought that what was possible has been done。
论招人厌烦的人
罗伯特。林德
罗伯特。林德（1879—1949），英国近代散文名家，生于爱尔兰，曾任伦敦《新闻报》文 学编辑，工作之余著述颇丰，在散文创作方面有较高成就。
我有时觉得，那种最招人厌烦的人就是那种喜欢跟人讲从一个地方到另一地方有多少条 路好走的人。我一生中感到最厌烦的一回，是听一位老先生向一位上年纪的女人讲解，她从 拿丁山门回汉普斯台可能走的全部街道。她曾向他抱怨说她走的那条路太费时间。于是，他 一大串的絮絮叨叨便开了头，其中包括所有的公共汽车路线、街道名和站名。接下来，他用 一种平铺直叙的语调指点给她整个西部和北部伦敦的每一条路。他奉告给她所有可以换车地 方的地名，并且还为她一一详述一路上所有的酒店名字。最后我感觉到，他好像连他自己也 被弄烦了，至于我们旁人就更不用说了；但他还是不敢把话停下来，想来或许因为他再没有 别的什么好谈了。等到最后他起身走开时，我早已陷入昏『迷』状态，什么卡门敦大街、威尔土 亲王路以及不列颠街等等之类街名在我的脑海中不断碰撞，『乱』作一团。
另外一种讨人厌烦的谈话方式是这样一种人的谈话方式。这种人一谈起政治来，就把所 有陈词滥调的议论全都抖搂出来，那神气活像他是第一次使用它们。我自己就一向是这类讨 人厌烦的人。年轻的时候，我因为认识不清，曾误以为格莱斯顿先生的爱尔兰自治提案是危 险和有害的，于是每次遇见我那位倡议地方自治的好朋友时，我总爱把话扯到那个大问题上 去。路上并肩走着的时候，我便往他的耳朵里搪塞那最荒唐的糊涂话，目光炯炯地为他讲述 了历来英国对爱尔兰的全部德政，并向他大声疾呼那些从自治之前的格莱斯顿以及威廉。哈 尔考特爵士那里引来的尽人皆知的陈腐语言。我从来没有发过一点新鲜议论，因为我对此一 无所知。我像一只被激怒了的鹦鹉，只知道重复一大堆可以想见的愚昧无知话语。就连他那 张很有耐『性』的脸孔上的痛苦表情也不能让我停止。但是有一天，他实在忍无可忍，突然脸上 一红，对着我冷冷来了一句：“我的天，你真是个够讨厌的人。”当然，谁也不愿意被人当 成讨厌的人，而对一个当面说你讨厌的人，你便很难继续再和他辩论下去了。当我们了解到 自己在招人厌烦时，我们就像泄气的气球。我当时的情况就是这样。拉。罗施夫考曾说过： “我们能原谅那些使我们感到厌烦的人，但不能原谅感到我们厌烦的人。”不过震动一过， 我倒没有因为友人的坦率而减少了我对他的友情。从那次以后我肯定还曾经招不少人厌烦过 ；但是除了家里人之外，一直倒还没有人向我讲过我讨他们厌烦。我得认真研究别人的面部 表情才能知道我是否在招他们厌烦……
on being a bore
robert lynd
the worst bores； i sometimes think； are those who love telling people the va rious routes from one place to another。i have never been more bored in my life t han when listening to an old gentleman explaining to an old lady the several way s in which she might have come from notting hill gate to hampstead。she had compl ained of the time the journey had taken and immediately he was off on a long rig marole consisting of the number of buses and the frames of streets and stations。 he went on in a flat voice conducting her； as it seemed to me； through every str eet in west and north london。 he told her of all the various places where she mi ght have changed buses and named most of the publichouses on the way。in the en d； it seemed to me； he was boring himself as well as the rest of us； but he dare d not stop； i fancy； because he could think of nothing else to talk about。by the time he rose to go i was in a coma with words like camden high street； prince o f wales road and britannia jostling each other in my brain。
another boring form of conversation is that of the man who； when talking pol itics； trots out all the old threadbare arguments withs the air of a person usin g them for the first time。i have been a bore of this kind myself。 as a boy i was blind enough to regard mr。gladstone's proposal of home rule for ireland as bots dangerous and wicked； and； whenever i met a great friend of mine who was a home ruler； i would drag the conversation round to the great theme。i shouted the wil dest nonsense into his ear as i walked beside him in the streets； telling him wi th blazing eyes of all the good england had done to ireland and yelling all the usual musty quotations from the prehomerule gladstone and sir willi