a deep ocean of anguish； reaching to the verge of despair。
i have sought love； first； because it brings ecstasy — ecstasy so great tha t i would have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy。 i ha ve sought it； next； because it relieves loneliness — that terrible loneliness i n which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into cold un fathomable lifeless abyss。 i have sought it； finally； because in the union of lo ve i have seen； in a mystic miniature； the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined。 this is what i sought； and though it might seem too good for human life； this is what — at last — i have found。
with equal passion i have sought knowledge。 i have wished to understand the hearts of men。 i have wished to know why the stars shine。 and i have tried to ap prehend the pythagorean power by which number holds away above the flux。 a littl e of this； but not much； i have achieved。
love and knowledge； so far as they were possible； led upward toward the heav ens。 but always pity brought me back to earth。 echoes of cries of pain reverbera ted in my heart。 children in famine； victims tortured by oppressors； helpless ol d people a hated burden to their sons； and the whole world of loneliness； povert y； and pain make a mockery of what human life should be。 i long to alleviate the evil； but i cannot； and i too suffer。
this has been my life。 i have found it worth living； and i would gladly live it again if the chance were offered to me。
观 舞
约翰。高尔斯华绥
约翰。高尔斯华绥（1867—1933）英国近代著名的小说家、剧作家、散文家，曾获1932 年的诺贝尔文学奖。本篇系他1910年所写的一个短篇随笔，文字工整秀丽，感情丰富饱满。
一天下午，友人邀我去一家剧场观舞。幕启后，台上除四周高垂的灰『色』幕布外，空无一 物。不一会，从幕布厚重的皱折处，孩子们一个个或一对对地联翩而出，台上最后总共出现 了十一二个。全部是女孩，年龄都不超过十三四岁，有一两个最多只有八岁。衣衫都穿得很 少，完全『裸』『露』着腿脚胳臂。她们的头发散开着，脸孔端庄之中却满带笑容，竟是那样的可爱 活泼，让人看后恍有被魔法置入苹果仙园之感，此时此地身体已不复存在，唯有精魂浮游于 缥渺的晴空。孩子们有的白晰而丰腴，有的黝深而窈窕；但个个都欢欣愉快，天真烂漫，丝 毫没有矫『揉』造作之态，尽管她们显然都受过高超和认真的训练。每个跳步，每个转动，都仿 佛出之于对生命的喜悦，而就在此时此地即兴编成的——舞蹈对她们真是毫不费力，不论演 出还是排练。这里见不到蹑足欠步、装模作样的姿态，也见不到徒耗体力，漫无目标的动作 ；眼前唯有节奏、音乐、光明、轻盈，特别是欢乐。笑与爱曾帮助塑造她们的舞姿，此刻笑 与爱又正从她们的一张张笑靥中，从她们肢体的雪白而优美的旋转中，息息透出，光彩动人 。
尽管她们全都逗人喜爱，但其中有两人却尤其引我注目。一个是她们中个子最高的女孩 ，她肤深腰纤，每个表情每个动作中都表现出一种庄重却火辣的热情。
舞蹈节目之一是她扮演一个美童的追逐者，当然这个美童的一举一动，顺便说一句，也 都异常妩媚；在这场追逐中，宛如蜻蜓之戏舞于睡莲之旁，或如仲夏之夜向明月吐诉衷曲， 抒发出一缕缕摄人心魄的细细幽情。这个发肤黝深的女猎手，情如火燎，实是世间一切渴求 的最奇妙不过的象征，而且实在动人。当我们从她身上看到她在追逐她那情人时所流『露』的一 腔『迷』惘激情，那种既得辄止的曳犹神态，我们仿佛隐约窥见了那奔流于整个世界并且永远如 斯的伟大神秘力量。啊，令人伤痛的焦灼不安，永不逝去的悱恻缠绵。
另一个使我『迷』恋不已的是从身材上数倒数第二的那个发『色』浅棕的孩子。这个头戴白花半 月冠的俊美女神，短裙之上，绛英瓣瓣；裙衫动处，飘飘欲仙。她的舞蹈已远远脱出儿童的 境界。她那娇小的秀颅与肢体之间，处处都充满着律动的圣洁火焰。在她的一小段“独舞” 中，她简直成了节奏的化身。快睹之下，恍若一团喜悦骤从天降，并且登时凝聚在那里；而 满台喜悦之声则洋洋盈耳。此时台下也真的响起了一片啧啧之声，继而欢声雷动。
我看了看我的友人；他正在用指头悄悄地从眼边擦拭什么。至于我自己，则氍毹之上几 乎一片模糊，世间万物都顿觉可爱；仿佛经此飞仙用魔杖一点，一切都变得金光灿灿。
或许唯有上帝知道她的这股力量是从哪里得来的，能把喜悦带给我们这些枯竭的心田； 也唯有上帝知道她能把这力量保持多久；但是这个蹁跹的小爱神的身上却蕴蓄着那种为浓稠 『色』调、幽美乐曲、天风丽日以及那些伟大艺术珍品所特具的力量——足以把心灵从其一切窒 碍之中解脱出来，使之充满喜悦。
dancers
john galsworthy
i was taken by a friend one afternoon to a theatre。 when the curtain was rai sed； the stage was perfectly empty save for tall grey curtains which enclosed it on all sides； and presently through the thick folds of those curtains children came dancing in； singly； or in pairs； till a whole troop of ten or twelve were a ssembled。 they were all girls； none； i think； more than fourteen years old； one or two certainly not more than eight。 they wore but little clothing； their legs； feet and arms being quite bare。 their hair； too； was unbound； and their faces； grave and smiling； were so utterly dear and joyful； that in looking on them one felt transported to some garden of hesperides； a where self was not；and the spir it floated in pure ether。 some of these children were fair and rounded； others d ark and elflike； but one and all looked entirely happy； and quite unselfcons cious； giving no impression of artifice； though they had evidently had the highe st and most careful training。 each flight and whirling movement seemed conceived there and then out of the joy of being — dancing had surely never been a labou r to them； either in rehearsal or performance。 there was no tiptoeing and postur ing； no hopeless muscular achievement； all was rhythm； music； light； air； and； a bove all things； happiness。 smiles and love had gone to the fashioning of their performance； and smiles and love shone from every one of their faces and from th e clever white turnings of their limbs。
amongst them — though all were delightful — there were two who especially riveted my attention。 the first of these two was the tallest of all the children ； a dark thin girl； in whose every expression and movement there was a kind of g rave； fiery love。
during one of the many dances； it fell to her to be the pursuer of a fair ch ild； whose movements had a very strange soft charm； and this chase； which was li ke the hovering of a dragonfly round some waterlily； or the wooing of a moon beam by the june night； had in it a most magical sweet passion。 that dark； tende r huntress； so full of fire and yearning； had the queerest power of symbolising all longing； and moving one's heart。 in her； pursuing her white love with such w istful fervour； and ever arrested at the very movement of conquest； one seemed t o see the great secret force that hunts through the world； on and on； tragically unresting； immortally sweet。
the other child who particularly enchanted me was the smallest but one； a br ownhaired fairy crowned with a halfmoon of white flowers； who wore a scanty little rosepetalcoloured shift that floated about her in the most delightful fashion。 she danced as never child danced。 every inch of her small head and bod y was full of the sacred fire of motion； and in her little pas seul she seemed t o be the very spirit of movement。 one felt that joy had flown down； and was inha biting there； one heard the rippling of joy's laughter。 and； indeed； through all the theatre had risen a rustling and whispering； and sudden bursts of laughing raptur