will make a good time with Micky？s homemade ouzo！
Sincerely；
Pierre
D chooses real sex over sex poems
Dan sat in the back of AP English class； his hands trembling as he reread the letter。 Professor
Papadametriou sounded like a nice man； and he？d probably make a good advisor。 Dan could
totally picture enjoying a few glasses of wine in the professor？s home while he talked about the
fall of Troy and his son stuffed grape leaves or whatever。 The thing was； Dan didn？t want to go to
Evergreen at all anymore。
？Dan； could you enlighten us as to who the narrator is in this poem？？ Ms。 Solomon asked。 She
was wearing a tight black lace mini tank dress； her nearly translucent； thin； spidery arms and bony
legs poking out of it； making her look like a cartoon witch in a Halloween TV special。 She wound
a strand of mousy dark blond hair around her index finger； a gesture she probably thought was
irresistible to Dan。 Ms。 Solomon had a serious crush on him； and whenever she suspected he
wasn？t paying attention in class； she stomped her feet like a petulant child and asked him a
question； demanding his attention。
He wasn？t even sure which poem she was talking about； although he knew it was Robert Frost；
and he？d memorized most of Frost。
？It？s either the guy or the horse；？ Dan answered mechanically without even looking up。
？Thanks； Stormfield；？ Ms。 Solomon cracked sarcastically。
？Even I could do better than that；？ Chuck Bass jeered from the front of the room； where he？d
decided to sit every day up until the final exam； in his last…ditch effort to get better than a D in
English。 Chuck was wearing orange…and…white plaid Bermuda shorts； a white polo shirt； white
patent leather shoes； and a matching white patent leather belt。 It was the sort of outfit a Park
Avenue mom would dress her three…year…old son in for church； only Chuck had chosen the outfit
himself。 Sweetie sat in Chuck？s lap； wearing a tiny rhinestone tiara。
Dan shrugged。 He was beyond Chuck？s nasty wisecracks； and beyond Ms。 Solomon？s insolent
crush。 Way beyond。 In fact； right now he was so consumed with love for Vanessa； he wasn？t sure
what to do with himself。
Uh…oh。
On the subway he？d started writing his graduation speech； modeling it after all the stupid
graduation speeches he？d heard in movies。We are the future。 The ticket to a successful life is a
good education。 The world awaits us with all it has to teach 。 But that had been before he and
Vanessa had sex on her roof。 Now he was pretty sure he was changing the topic。 For how could he
not write aboutlove？
Double uh…oh。
He glanced down at the letter again； picked up his chewed…on black Paper Mate pen； and turned
to a clean sheet of paper in his loose…leaf binder。
Dear Professor Papadametriou；
Thank you for offering me the opportunity to work with you this summer。 However； something
has e up and I will not be able to accept the position。 I would very much like to meet you and
your dogs and your son sometime。 Until then； good luck； and good luck with your book。
All the best；
Daniel Humphrey
P。 S。 I？ve enclosed a poem you might want to include in your book。
He turned to another fresh page。
view from the roof
The view is better from up here。
See her factories； her rivers。
If her hills weren？t in the way
I could see into the windows of the apartment across the street。
See a woman pouring milk as she sets the table for dinner。
Oh there。 There？s the table。 There。
I can see everything from here。
There。 Yes。 Right there。
Dan wasn？t sure if he really had the guts to send such a sexually explicit poem to a professor
he？d never even met； but it would be cool if Professor Papadametriou actually used the poem in
his book。
Ms。 Solomon sat down at her desk and rested her pointy； unpleasant chin in her hands； looking
pletely defeated because she？d worn her sexiest dress just for Dan and he？d barely looked at
her for the last forty minutes。
？I？d like you to open your notebooks and take the last ten minutes of class to write whatever you
feel like writing；？ she instructed with unusual generosity。 Normally she droned on about
Wordsworth or some other dead poet until five minutes after the bell had rung； driving the boys
apeshit。 Dan took the opportunity to get started on a new graduation speech。
Ladies and gentlemen； we are gathered here today to celebrate the end of the first chapter in our
lives and the beginning of the second。 We already know what es next。 Four years of college；
and then another graduation。 But whoop…dee…doo！ Now is the time to be inlove。 ？
Whoop…dee…doo？ Triple； super…duper uh…oh。
who？s that boy？
Senior homeroom was last period on Tuesday in the Constance Billard senior lounge； a
windowless room above the library that had been a storage area until it was given to the seniors as
a place to relax and escape from all the underclassmen。 No teacher was present； which meant that
none of the girls were paying any attention to Mimi Halperin； the perky but lame president of the
senior class； as she made announcements about senior privileges during exam week。
？No uniforms all week； girls。 And we only have to e to school for our exams。 Awesome；
huh？？ Mimi clapped her chubby hands together and pushed her thick black hair behind her
weirdly small ears。 The other girls yawned and looked at their watches； eager to leave so they
could continue their quest for the perfect graduation dress or work on their tans。 Mimi had been
the class clown and everyone？s buddy way back in third grade； but now that they were all grown
up； no one thought she was funny。 Still； they？d voted for her for president at the end of junior year
because she was the only one who seemed to want to do it。 Because it went on your transcript for
college； class president was a coveted position； up until senior year。 The class president had to
attend weekly student council meetings at 7：30A。M 。 and help out at all the school functions； like
the book fair and the scholarship fund drive。 It was a lot of work； and now that it was the end of
senior year and everyone was already into college； no one cared。
？Moving on； I？m pleased to announce？drumroll； please？our senior class graduation speaker is ？
Blair Waldorf！ Yay； Blair！！？ Mimi jumped up and down on her stubby legs and clapped her hands
over her head like this was the best thing that had ever happened。
Take that； you bitch！Blair gloated silently at the back of Serena？s pale blond head。That？s what
you get for trying to sabotage me。
The lounge hummed with gossip as everyone discussed the results。 No one had really wanted
Blair to be speaker； because her whole speech was going to be about herself； but they questioned
Serena？s ability to write a coherent speech。
？She？s so dumb from all the drugs she did up at boarding school； she？d probably have to bribe
Blair to write the speech for her anyway；？ Laura Salmon whispered to Rain Hoffstetter。
？I heard Serena dropped out；？ Rain whispered back。 ？Nate gave her some gross STD and she？s
going to miss graduation anyway because she has