“9毛钱1磅的茶叶，给我来5磅；8分钱1品脱的糖浆，要11夸脱半；2毛1分钱的大火腿，要两个8磅的；2毛4分钱一罐的腌核桃要5打。”
杂货店老板把账单理了出来。
“你买了很多东西，”他说，“你妈妈叫你现在把钱付清吗？”
小男孩一边把那精确整洁的账单放进口袋，一边说：“这和我妈没关系，这是我自己的算术作业，我必须想办法把它做出来！”
Nothing to Do with My Mom
A little boy bustled into a grocery one day with a memorandum in his hand。
“Hello； Mr。 Smith；” He said。“I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 32 cents。”
“Very good；” said the grocer； and he noted down the sale。
“Anything else； Charlie？”
“Yes。 Twenty…seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents。”
“The loaf； eh？ And what else？”
“Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 20 cents。”
“That will be a good brand。 Go on。”
“Five pounds of tea at 90 cents； eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint； two eight…pound hams at 21 cents； and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts at 24 cents a jar。”
The grocer made out the bill。
“It’s a big order；” he said。 “Did your mother tell you to pay for it？”
“My mother；” said the boy； as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill；“has nothing to do with this business。 It is my arithmetic lesson and I had to get it done somehow。”
有时是我的
汉克家原来住在一个小镇上，最近，他在大城市里找了一份工作。因此，汉克和妻子，还有两个孩子搬到了城里住。
在乔迁新居的第一个周末，汉克把他那辆红色的新车从车库里开了出来。正当他冲洗汽车时，有位邻居刚好路过。看到汉克的新车，邻居便停下来端详了好一会儿。汉克一转身，刚好看见他。
邻居说：“这辆轿车可真漂亮啊。是你的吗？”
“有时候。”汉克回答道。
邻居听到汉克这么说，感到很惊讶，便问道：“有时候是你的？这是什么意思？”
“是这样的，”汉克缓缓地说道，“当镇上有聚会时，它属于我女儿简；当哪个地方有足球赛时，它属于我的儿子乔；当车子洗好以后，看起来又漂亮又干净时，它属于我的妻子；当车子需要加油时，它就是我的了。”
Sometimes It’s Mine
Hank lived in a small town； but then he got a job in a big city and moved there with his wife and his two children。
On the first Saturday in their new home； Hank took his new red car out of garage and was washing it when a neighbor came by。 When he saw Hank’s new car； the neighbor stopped and looked at it for a minute。 Then Hank turned and saw him。
The neighbor said；“That’s a nice car。 Is it yours？”
“Sometimes。” Hank answered。
The neighbor was surprised。 “Sometimes？” he said；“What do you mean？”
“Well；” answered Hank slowly； “when there’s a party in town； it belongs to my daughter； Jane。 When there’s a football game somewhere； it belongs to my son； Joe。 When I’ve washed it； and it looks really nice and clean； it belongs to my wife。 And when it needs gas； It’s mine。。 最好的txt下载网
聪明人生 第五章（5）
给我一个不同的理由
一位军官发现没有一个士兵在驻守营地。这时终于有一个人跑过去，一路上气喘吁吁。
“对不起，长官！我可以解释，你知道的，我去赴了一个约会，就晚了一点。我跑到车站，可是没赶上公车。我叫了一辆出租车，可是半路上坏了，我又看到了一个农场，买了一匹马，可是马在半路猝死了。我就跑了10英里，现在才回来。”
军官有些半信半疑，可是至少他回来了，就让他走了。过了一会儿，有8个士兵跑了回来，军官问他们为什么迟到。
“对不起，长官！我可以解释，你知道的，我去赴了一个约会，就晚了一点。我跑到车站，可是没赶上公车。我叫了一辆出租车，可是半路上坏了，我又看到了一个农场，买了一匹马，可是半路猝死了。我就跑了10英里，现在才回来。”
军官看着他们，根本不相信，但是他已经让第一个士兵走了，所以他不得不放走他们。就在这时，又有一个士兵气喘吁吁地跑了回来。
“对不起，长官！我可以解释，你知道的，我去赴一个约会，就晚了一点。我跑到车站，可是没赶上公车。我叫了一辆出租车，可是……”
“让我猜猜看，”军官打断了他，“出租车在半路坏了。”
“不是啊，”士兵说，“路上有好多死马，我用了好长时间才绕过它们。”
Give Me a Different Reason
The Officer found that none of his soldiers were there。 One finally ran up； panting heavily。
“Sorry； sir！ I can explain； you see I had a date and it ran a little late。 I ran to the bus but missed it。 I hailed a cab but it broke down； found a farm； bought a horse but it dropped dead； ran 10 miles； and now I’m here。 ”
The Officer was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the soldier go。 Moments later； eight more soldiers came up to the officer panting； he asked them why they were late。
“Sorry； sir！ I had a date and it ran a little late； I ran to the bus but missed it； I hailed a cab but it broke down； found a farm； bought a horse but it dropped dead； ran 10 miles； and now I’m here。”
The Officer eyed them； feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go； he let them go； too。 A ninth soldier； jogged up to the officer； panting heavily。
“Sorry； sir！ I had a date and it ran a little late。 I ran to the bus but missed it。 I hailed a cab but。。。”
“Let me guess；” the officer interrupted。 “it broke down。”
“No。” said the soldier； “there were so many dead horses on the road； it took forever to get around them。”
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聪明人生 第六章（1）
与上帝为伍
一个农民买了一块破旧、荒废的农场，他计划着把农场改造成一座欣欣向荣的园林。农场目前的状况是杂草遍布，房屋破旧不堪，四周的篱笆也东倒西歪。
在他着手改造的第一天，一个城里的传教士停下来祝福他：“愿上帝与你一起实现你的梦想！”
过了几个月，那个传教士又一次来拜访农民。驻足观看，这里发生了天翻地覆的变化：房屋重新被整修过，条件也优于从前，成群的牛羊正在欢快地吃着青草，地里的庄稼也成排地生长着。“太不可思议了，”传教士惊呼道，“看啊，上帝和你一起实现了你的梦想！”
“是的，教士，”那个农民说道：“可你别忘了，当初这个农场只由上帝一人管理时是个什么样子！”
Partners with God
A farmer purchases an old； run…down； abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise。 The fields are grown over with weeds； the farmhouse is falling apart； and the fences are collapsing all around。
During his first day of work； the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work； saying； “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams！”
A few months later； the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer。 Look and behold。 it’s like a pletely different place—the farmhouse is pletely rebuilt and in excellent condition； there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well…fenced pens； and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows。 “Amazing！” the preacher says。 “Look what God and you have acplished together！”
“Yes； reverend；” says the farmer； “but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone！”
聪明的学生参加期末考试
一位有机生物学教授站在20名高年级的学生面前，正准备发期末考试的试卷。
“我要说的是，这个学期能够教你们我感到非常荣幸。我明白你们都很努力，你们中的许多人在暑假之后就要去医学院深造了。为了避免同学们因为参与本周末过多的庆祝活动而影响了学习成绩，所以有谁愿意放弃这次考试，就可以得‘B’。”
许多学生异常惊喜，一个接一个地站了起来，从教授身边走过，对他表示感谢，并在纸上签了名。等到最后一个选择放弃的学生走出教室后，教授看着剩下的同学问：“还有吗？这是你们的最后机会了。”终于，还是有一名同学站了起来，接受了建议。
教授关上门，清点了�